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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27330595">Remembering Home</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeraStars/pseuds/SeraStars'>SeraStars</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying Sokka (Avatar), Fluff and Angst, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt Sokka (Avatar), Hurt Zuko (Avatar), Implied Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), M/M, Past Sokka/Yue (Avatar), Protective Zuko (Avatar), Sokka &amp; Zuko (Avatar) Friendship, Sokka (Avatar)-centric, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, Zuko's Scar (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 23:07:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,792</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27330595</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeraStars/pseuds/SeraStars</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Zuko had always expected Sokka to be a loud, hysteric, public crier.</p><p>He was wrong.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sokka &amp; Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>104</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Remembering Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>❝ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʟᴏɴᴇʟʏ, ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʙᴇ ʟᴏɴᴇʟʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ. 💙❞</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
  <p>“Well!” Sokka exclaimed, crossing his arms over his chest. “I think it’s time to hit the hay. I’m gonna go to sleep,”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Toph raised her eyebrows. “This early? The sun isn’t even down yet!”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The sky was a faded purple shade, almost pink, as feint clouds slowly began to drift in and coated the sky. The sun was still in its early stage of setting, honey clouds and veils of fog drifting over, creating scattered shades of bright yellow like a lightbulb.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Sokka shrugged nonchalantly. “What can I say? It’s best to sleep early. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow. And the next day," Sokka looked down like he was counting on his fingers. "And the next, then the day after that, and then the day after that day, and then the day after the day of that day-"</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Alright, alright!" Toph said. "Fine, go to sleep. I have a big session with my toes tonight,"</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Katara continued to practice her bending with Aang as the two laughed in the distance at a nearby lake. Sokka smiled, nodded, and went on his way into his tent, which was further away than he was used to.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He opened up the veil and closed the drifts of fabric and sprawled out on the make-shift mattress. It wasn't massive, but it was definitely big enough to fit more than one person. He just wished that he had someone to share his thoughts with.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Okay, so..." Sokka muttered to himself, trying to figure out what it was exactly that he wanted to do. He shut his eyes, but just as quickly, snapped back open. "Um, I just realized that I actually don't want to sleep."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>So instead, he laid back down and stared up at the very top of the fabric sheets and rested his head on his arms. "I guess sometimes; the fun guy needs his alone time,"</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He could barely hear Katara and Aang anymore, and they sounded like he was submerged underwater in a quiet nothingness.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"I wonder what Zuko's doing right now," Sokka muttered to himself. "He's probably doing his firebending... things. And his jerkbending," he laughed quietly. "...Jerkbending."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He heard laughter again.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He missed the sound of laughter.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>“No, no, I don’t,” Sokka said. “I don’t miss that, it’s okay, my problems aren’t even as big as anyone else’s anyway--”</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The sound of <em>his </em>laughter.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The sound of plates and utensils clinking against each other.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The smells of rose, dirt, and rain, all combined to be a smell of...</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>...home.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>Home.</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"I don't even know what home is anymore," Sokka whispered to himself, testing the words out, trying to get himself to stop thinking about what home was like-- which was rather easy because he couldn't think of anything that was really worth remembering.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And that's the part he hated the most.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Sokka hated that he just couldn't remember what his home was like. He <em>could </em>remember how it looked like, he could remember how it smelled, he remembered how warm it was inside the comfort of his home, but he didn't remember how he felt at home. He couldn't. He tried, with everything he could... when was the last time he felt at rest? When he felt like he didn't have to get up and put on a new persona every day?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The cold wind seeped in between the openings of the cloth.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Sokka could only remember how something looked like, but how did he feel? How did he felt when he had a warm feeling inside him, this feeling like he actually belonged and wasn't just the planner? The boomerang guy? He liked that name, he did, but was he only the jokester? Was he even valid to people?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"No, no," Sokka muttered. "Don't think like that... your problems as bad as other people's. You shouldn't be upset over something that isn't even half as bad. It shouldn't be a problem."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But why was it?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It's not like he didn't <em>want </em>to remember how he felt at home.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It was that he physically couldn't.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And he was angry at himself because nothing should have ended up this way. He was supposed to remember what it was like to have his mind cleared of thoughts and to actually like who he was inside, as a person. But he couldn't-- what was his home life like? Could he even remember anything?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>What was it that he <em>could </em>remember?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He could remember how he failed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He could remember how he failed Yue-- she deserved so much more than she got. When Sokka had first seen Yue, she was more than just "a girl," or a part of a royal family. Yue had been someone that Sokka knew that he loved, no matter what. He had <em>sworn </em>to protect her. And he had broken that promise.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Sokka also remembered how he'd failed with Katara-- when Katara needed him most, when she felt down and felt like she wasn't enough, Sokka had failed her. Sokka had always imagined that he and Katara should have been together, as closest siblings, always fighting for each other. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But every time, Katara had to fight every single battle alone. He wasn't <em>there </em>for her. And he was supposed to be her older brother-- but where was he now? Had he become someone who was never there for her? </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Was he someone who only made jokes and never truly expressed <em>how much </em>he loved her?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Who was he? </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>What kind of brother was he?</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Sokka clenched the sheets of the makeshift bed, trying to control himself, from bursting or making any sudden movements.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But just because he was quiet didn't mean that the tears weren't there.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And he remembered how he'd failed everyone who tried to enter into his life. People who genuinely wanted to help him, but he didn't know how to express himself, how to talk about his feelings. He knew that he <em>was </em>pretty verbal with many things, and he liked to talk about himself and his accomplishments a lot, but when it was about himself... his faults, his mistakes, it was entirely different.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>There were only two times where he could honestly talk about himself. The first time had only lasted for a few seconds before the person started talking about themselves again.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The second time went smoothly-- with Zuko.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>When the two had gone to go rescue his dad, with Zuko, the words just... fell out. He couldn't even describe it, but one word after the next, he was repeatedly explaining how he felt. That time, Zuko hadn't interrupted him, but rather acknowledged him. Zuko had given him time to explain himself, and instead, it had been Sokka who stopped himself.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Zuko had helped him open up.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Sokka managed to get himself to smile as he turned over on the side of his bed.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>That's when he realized that he had cried.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Wh-what? When did I-I..." he wrapped his arms around himself as the world darkened around him, with an odd, vibrating, and dull pulse pumping in his chest.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He fell asleep with tears in his eyes.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>~</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Zuko woke up late in the night with an odd feeling in his chest.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It was as if someone had tied an invisible string and was constantly pulling him, pulling at him to keep on walking, or an odd, gravitating, magnetic feeling. But whatever that force was, it wanted him to get out of his tent and head outside.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Zuko wasn't quite used to sleeping with so many people around, so he managed to get up anyway, compromising with the fact that he needed water.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He peered over at the stars that glistened in the night as he took a few sips of water, and stared at the moon that was off far in the distance.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And at first, he thought he heard a mellow melody in his head when he realized, one, it was not a melody, and two, it definitely wasn't in his head as he slowly peered his head over to see where the sound was coming from.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He searched across every tent, trying to be as quiet as possible since it was late in the night when he turned his head in confusion.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>There were only five tents, including himself, which meant that someone was missing.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He just had to figure out who's.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>A million thoughts began racing through his head as he started picking up speed again, almost running as fast as every possibility that showed up in this train of thought and came to a stop when the sound got loud enough for his ears to pick up where it was coming from.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It was rather far from where their base was, which was a slight issue, but Zuko shook his head and kept on running nevertheless to the left, where the sound got even louder.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>After running a few more feet, he realized that sound wasn't a melody.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It was someone silently sobbing.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It was a quiet, hiccuping noise, but there was definitely a low sound for initial help that sounded muffled.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Someone could have been hurt. Someone could have even been kidnapped by now. How long had he wasted time not checking his surroundings?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Zuko cursed at himself for a second, but without a second thought, moved past the feeling that his lungs were bound to explode when he finally heard the sound coming from...</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>...Sokka's tent?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>In utter confusion, Zuko stopped immediately, just to make sure.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>This time, for some odd reason, he actually had to lean in closer to verify that it really <em>was </em>Sokka.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He could be hurt.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Without hesitation, he lightly jogged over and flung open the tent's covers to find someone who was Sokka, yet didn't look like him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Even in the darkness, Zuko could see that his eyes were blood-shot, his shoulders shaking and he was on his knees, doubling-over, his entire body racking with muffled sobs as his hand was clenched over his mouth like a muzzle, and it took Zuko a few seconds to realize that Sokka was <em>crying.</em></p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He had seen Sokka cry a few times-- once in battle with Azula, and another almost-time when Sokka was talking to him about his dad.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But nothing in the world could compare to the broken, frustrated, confused expression that Sokka wore which was like looking in a mirror.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Zuko remembered when he was only a young prince after his own father had burned him, he had spent hours crying, alone, in the darkness while his scar was healing. He remembered how much he always had the urge to cry whenever he woke up, and spent most of his time sleeping because then he didn't have to face reality. And when he finally broke down, and sobs racked his chest and he cried till he could barely breathe, it was <em>painful </em>to cry. There was a terrible, firey, prickling, needle-like feeling that sparked like a wildfire with every tear that fell across his scar, and he would want nothing more than to just rip his skin off and get it over with.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But the thing is, that wasn't the worst part.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The worst part was was that no one was there for him. No one knew the tears he had cried, the restless nights he had gone through, the terrible feelings of darkness and fear that someone was always watching his every move, and he just wanted someone to tell him that <em>it was going to be okay. </em>But then he had met Iroh-- who had changed his entire view on life.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He had shown him exactly what it was like to feel broken, to be broken, but learn how to mend. Zuko knew that he never addressed his Uncle's problems, but he was willing to admit that he had gone through some pretty awful things. But Iroh had never let it get to him, and he learned and mended. And that was who Zuko strived to be.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But who was there for Sokka?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Zuko also knew that Sokka did have more people around that he had as a kid. The best people Zuko had was Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee, which he didn't consider people who he could really open up to. But he had his Uncle, so he managed to push through his bad days. But who was there for Sokka?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>But when Zuko remembered the days where he had cried in the darkness, alone, he wasted no time to instantly run over into the tent and wrap his arms around his friend.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>His friend.</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Sokka pulled back for a split second, Zuko could tell-- his hands pulled away for a second in confusion, but the moment he blinked again, tears cascaded down his face, and he instantly hugged, back, wrapping and grasping his arms around Zuko's back, trying to feel that feeling again, the feeling of home.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Zuko's mind instantly went both blank and full of thoughts at the same time. He could feel Sokka's heartbeat against his chest, his muffled hiccups as Sokka continued to put his hands around his mouth, trying to quiet the noise. Zuko almost hesitated, but he remembered that his Uncle had always been there for him. So why couldn't he?</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"It's okay, Sokka," he wrapped his arms around tighter, rocking Sokka back and forth. "It's okay to cry. I... I'm right here, okay-?"</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>That was when Sokka cried out loud, his lips trembling and his voice strangled as his breaths were short but panicked, as he wailed into Zuko's chest, his entire body heaving and racking with sobs as he struggled to breathe, his entire face covered in tears as he wailed again.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Zuko usually never cried, but seeing someone he always thought was so strong, so full-of-life, so kind-hearted, when Sokka wailed again, he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. It wasn't a weak wail of a baby, it wasn't a howling noise, but it was a fragile and frustrated, yet so <em>broken </em>noise that made Zuko's eyes spring with tears.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"It's okay, it's okay," Zuko said quietly. "Let it all out, I'm... I'm here for you."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Sokka gasped breathlessly, choking on air, mumbling in a strangled voice that sounded like, "thank you for everything."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And then Zuko started crying with him.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Not as much, but just enough for Sokka to know that he cared, that he really <em>did </em>care.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"I'm here if you ever want to talk."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Zuko knew that had always been bad words-- horrible, really. He couldn't even bring himself to say a single <em>thank you</em> before it sounded too awkward. But seeing someone he cared about so much, someone who always made him laugh even though he never expressed it outwardly, crying, the words just fell right out of him. They almost came naturally as Zuko hugged Sokka even tighter, slightly rocking back and forth as he finally felt Sokka scooch back the slightest bit.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Hey, hey, hey," Zuko said, noticing that Sokka was about to start crying again. "Whatever you're going through, whatever you're feeling, I... I want you to know that I'm here for you. I'm here to listen. To anything, really. I promise you."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Sokka's blue eyes met Zuko's as his shoulders, slowly, but surely, stopped shaking. "A-are y-you sure?"</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Zuko smiled sadly. "I'm not sure about many things in life, but this? Yes, Sokka. I'm sure."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Sokka made a weird strangled noise that Zuko couldn't quite make out.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Um, can you say that again?"</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He heard it again the second time, but it was an odd, uplifting feeling that almost made it feel like he was spinning.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"'s... you... home..."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Zuko tried his best not to sound rude and gently asked. "Uh, one more time? I'm sorry I..."</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Sokka hugged Zuko again this time.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"Y-you're my best friend..." Sokka said quietly. "I had no i-idea that we'd ever even meet,"</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>Best friend.</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>
    <em>To be called a best friend by someone you really, truly, wanted to get to is something that can be so treasured to the point where it can be called impossible. But Sokka made everything unreasonable reasonable, and that's what counts.</em>
  </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"But..." Sokka said quietly. "I-I realized, that home isn't just in one place.” Sokka kept on talking even when his voice shook. “It's... e-everywhere," Sokka's voice was still trembling, and even though he only had the ghost of a smile, there was still a smile, and that was all that mattered. "I realized that home is wherever you make it to be, home isn't a place, it's a-a heart, i-it's a soul, it's an entire place where you can just be you. Katara's my home, Suki is, Toph is, Aang is, and you, too,"</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>"You're my home."</p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you enjoyed reading this, please let me know :) It doesn't have to be a super long comment, but comments are very much appreciated. Feel free to request anything else you'd like on my tumblr: @busyforkuvira ♥️</p></blockquote></div></div>
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